Almost 3 years ago I wrote this blog story about Jon and Tina…and stupid cameras…and being left behind by Momma…and peeing…and, well, you get the point.  It is POSSIBLE I was a little immature about blaming THEM.  Now that I’m wiser and don’t write about peeing in my pants anymore, it seems like I was being a little judgy-judgerson here.  You decide.

I HAVE forgiven them, and now call them Uncle Jon and Auntie Tina.  All good.  We’ve had multiple play dates since this tragedy.

Anyway, the reason I wanted to share this story is because Momma told me that Uncle Jon and Auntie Tina have a baby girl now! A new baby! She was borned a couple days ago, probably from heaven.   I saw her (well, not HER) growing in Auntie Tina’s belly, so it’s a good thing she made it out. Seemed kind of squished in there.

So, Baby Mack- I can’t wait to meet you and warn you about cameras…and pictures…and how THEY don’t stop. Ever. Stick with me, and we’ll be good.

Oh, and Baby Mack…you will be so loved by THEM.     

From 4/17/13- Nate’s Notes: Left Behind

No Child Left Behind…unless you’re ME.

Last week Uncle Tim and new friends, Jon and Tina, came to visit us.  I already knew I liked Uncle Tim because he is going to help with my tree fort, AND he has Legos.  OOOOO…Legos.   Tina and Jon…I liked them instantly for their laughs and kind faces.  They played with my cars and trucks and bouncy balls.  They sat at my level (the floor) and smiled a lot.  They made my heart feel warm.  Pretty much they were super cool.  At least I THOUGHT they were cool.  And then…

They pulled out cameras.

Just like Momma.

My head started to hurt.  My eyes watered.  NOOOOO!!!  Not you guys too??!!   Had Momma gotten to them too, just like she had with Daddy??? Or were they all to blame for Momma and her cameras? Uggh.  Please don’t make me lose my breakfast.  Not only did they come with cameras, they TALKED about cameras, and pictures, AND textures, AND numbers of pictures…and MORE pictures.

Strike one.  Go ahead…feel sorry for me.  It gets worse.

I pretended not to care TOO TOO much about the cameras, BUT I had to stop myself from spilling my drink on them. I could totally blame “toddler motor skills” for the spill.  My self control seems to be increasing though, darn it!!   I had begun to accept this cameras-everywhere-world as they discussed our field adventure for the next day.  We were going to explore Maryland!! Or Mary Island…Or…some island?? Whatever it’s called,  I had heard Momma and Daddy talk about how super cool this place was.  I was going to see BIG BIG buildings, rust, shiny broken glass, gauge-thingies, old brick buildings, maybe even some ship-boats, fired wood, colors and peeling paint.  I was even going to see a BIG BIG crane-claw for the first time! AAAAA, super duper exciting!!!!

The next day came, and I woke up early, ready for the adventure ahead.  Momma announced it was time to go.  I’m ready!!  Okay, let me grab my camera too, the pathetic toy that it is.  Let’s go!

Then Grandma Sue was at the door.  Wow, she is coming too???!!!  This will be great.  Great great great.  Maybe Papa and Gram will be there too!!!   And Daddy!  Oh man, I almost peed I was so excited.  Self control… self control…self control.

And then Momma left.

And I stayed.   She left.  She left me home.  She left me behind!  She left ME so she could be with THEM!

Strike two.

Like I said, I THOUGHT they were cool.  As if all this wasn’t bad enough, they all came BACK to MY home, after I had been left behind, and talked about the adventure! IN FRONT OF ME!! Yep, they ate pizza and drooled over the pictures they took with those cameras. Stupid cameras.

One. More. Strike.  They have one more strike.  They are on thin ice if you ask me.

*EDITOR’S NOTE:  For those of you who don’t know, this little blogger says that volcanoes interrupt, but he means that they erupt.* 

 Dear Annoying People,

 You know who you are.  Don’t look around the room at others.  Toys are best in a row.  Line them up.  Sort them.  Group them.  And then DON’T mix them up.

Seems pretty easy right?  Well then why do you mix things up??  Why do you UNGROUP them, and move them out of the line???  Yea- YOU.   You come into MY bubble and move MY cars, or put Legos in different spots, or read books in a different order than the pile I made.   You move MY crayons and pens into different heaps. You move MY plates and cups and spoons.  Do you WANT to see my volcano interrupt? 

And when we are out taking pictures, Momma bops from thing to thing.  Why can’t she take a picture of the bench, next to the trash can, next to the grass, next to the tree, next to the cracked sidewalk??  Nope.  She does it OUT OF ORDER.  Makes me all itchy and…upset. 

Also, colors should not be mixed.  Yea, yea.  I know about new colors we can make.  I was there for that preschool lesson, and Momma goes on and on…and on about colors we can make.  But why do we HAVE to???  My crayons don’t mix and I have all the colors I need.  It makes me nervous.  Please keep it to yourself, in YOUR bubble, if you are going to mix colors. 

Speaking of volcanoes interrupting, let me finish my words.  I know I get stuck a lot, and sometimes I need to repeat words so I feel less nervous.   I have a lot to share, stories to tell you, things to say.  But every time you don’t let me finish my words, I have to start over again.  I get mixed up. And my volcano rumbles. 

So, back to this mixing thing- mixing toys together, colors together…what’s next, food????  Oh wait, YOU people do that too!!!  ACK!!!!   I can remember the first time I saw someone not only let food touch, but then mix it together.  On purpose.  NOT on accident.  NOT. ON. ACCIDENT.  I watched it happen…as corn touched coleslaw, as ketchup mixed with mustard, as bread was smeared through soup.  I almost lost it.  Came darn tootin’ close.  I don’t just mean my volcano interrupting.  I mean I almost lost my food.  The food I ate already.     

Shudder.

Shudder again.

You annoy me.  

 Love, Nate

(Still shuddering.)