Not that I have run out of things that I want to say thank you for, but I feel like I’m rambling, just like Momma.  Not cool.  I am trying to establish a cool, big boy image.   So for now, this might be the last of my list of things that fill up my heart.  I think.

When Momma was looking over the spiderweb page…no…the looking page…no, no, no…the website (!) the other night, I got to sit on her lap.  Normally I touch all the buttons and have to get down, but my self control was at an all time high.   So we looked at the animals.  I love animals.  Daddy calls me a little monkey sometimes and says I act like an animal.   Best thing I’ve heard if you ask me!!

When we were looking at all the super cool animals, I decided they make me feel happy and thankful.   So today, I’m saying thanks for all the animals I know.

Goofy Dogs!

Benson and Ellie– Well, I’m pretty sure you know how much my heart dances when I see you every day.  You are goofy.  You are my puppies and friends.   Thank you for cleaning my face and hands.  Thank you for bringing me back my bouncy balls.  Thank you for running with me.   Thank you for cuddling.   Most of all, thank you for eating the food I don’t want to eat….ssshhhhh. 

Stitch–  For a cat, you are super cool.  Even though it’s part of my chore list to feed you, I’m happy to do it. AND, even though your best friend is Bob the bobcat (who eats all my chickens and takes my egg money away), I still like you.  Thank you for being soft and easy when I give you too big of a hug.  Thank you for bringing me sleeping mice to play with.  Thank you for sharing your food with me…ssshhhhh.   (You won’t find a picture of him because … let’s face it- he is a cat and he’ll do what he wants, which is NOT letting me tackle him for a picture.)

Run Ladies! Run!!!

The Ladies–  Aaaa, the Ladies.  You are a fun bunch of birds.   I could watch you run all day it’s so fun.  Your little chicken dance is catchy as well.  Again, even though it’s part of my chores to feed you and collect eggs, I think it’s fun!  There’s also that time you ate all the lettuce I helped plant.  For that I say thanks because lettuce makes me gag.   Thank you for giving me eggs to eat, and eggs to sell for my piggy bank fund.  Thanks for not pecking my hand too hard.  Well, maybe you could be a little easier.   And thanks for not telling Momma when I repeatedly try to make your eggs bounce…ssshhhhhh.

He. Is. Huge.

Luther and Iris–    When I visit Papa and Gram, I get to see you.  First of all, Luther, thanks for not eating me (and Lyla) you gigantic, monster tall dog!   Thanks also for making me laugh when you back up and sit on the couch or my lap like a person!  You’re a dog…sitting on a couch like a person- it doesn’t get much funnier than that in my world.  And Iris, eventually, you have decided I’m okay.  I could tell you’d like me once I got bigger.  Thank you for cuddling with me the other day.   And thanks for ALWAYS alerting us when there is a squirrel, a bird, another dog, or anything moving outside Papa and Gram’s house.  (I don’t have a picture of Iris because she is small and squirelly. I will work on that.)

I just love animals.  I do.  Now, if I could convince Momma and Daddy to get one of those cool camels or chimpanzees from the imagery site in this house, we’d be really happy!  I’d even say “please” and “thank you”!

Last time I started telling you all about things that fill up my heart.   So I was thinking about MORE things that make me smile, that make me feel loved, and that make me want to say “thank you”.

Here are other things I feel like saying thank you for:

• Leaves– They are just plain cool.  They fly, they float, they crinkle.  Mostly the ones on the ground are the best.  Especially when you big people try to put them in piles.  Why piles?  If they wanted to be in piles, wouldn’t they just jump off the trees that way?  So these piles- thanks for making them for me to spread all over again.
• Dirt–  I’ll admit, at first when Momma was taking so many pictures of dirt, I was horrified.  When I realized her sole purpose wasn’t to embarrass me in front of the world, I started to pay attention to the dirt.  It. Is. Amazing.  It isn’t for eating, but you can still have fun with it.   I have a tip:  just add water!!   Thanks for letting me play in dirt.
• Creepy Crawling Things– Have you ever stopped and watched ants?  They are super super busy.  Or, have you ever followed a spider?  Or a lizard?  (By the way, lizards kind of break when you grab their tails.)  Where do these guys go?  Do they have music classes and play dates?  Are they going to work?  Whatever they are doing, I say thanks for doing it because it makes me stop and just watch.  You miss a lot when you go go go.  Seems like more of us should stop and watch the ants.
• Music– Just like books…does this need more explaining?  Really, music makes me smile.  When I hear Momma play the piano or hum, or hear those people trapped in the radio singing, my heart dances.  Thanks for that.  If Momma could take a picture of music, it would be the most loveliest picture ever.  Ever.

Once again, my toddler brain, still under construction, doesn’t have time to keep going.  There is dirt somewhere outside with my name on it.   So my list will STILL be continued.   Hey, isn’t it good that I have a lot to say thank you for?

Related articles

• Nate’s Notes: Thankful
• Nate’s Notes: Leave It!

Today I heard Momma talking with another big person.  She seemed really mad and sad because of what the other person said.   I didn’t really understand a lot of it, but there was enough that soaked in to my developing brain.  Just so you know, you big people should really watch what you say in front of a 2 year old…especially when that 2 year old gets quiet and intent on a toy.   C’mon, is a cardboard block really THAT interesting at this stage???!!!

Momma was upset about me, not AT me, just about me.   I heard her say that calling me “different” because of what I did or didn’t do yet and where I came from wasn’t okay.  I saw Momma’s face.  I’ve seen that look when I use walls as my canvas (hey, you can’t harness creativity), when I hit or kick, when I help “fold” laundry, eat kitty food, feed kitty food to Lyla, and wash the phones.  Somebody was being sent to their room…and it wasn’t me this time.

Anyway, I guess some people think that I am different because I didn’t come from Momma’s belly, and was sick when I was born.  I guess some people think that Momma and Daddy are different because I wasn’t in Momma’s belly.  Momma said putting me in a box wasn’t okay.  (By the way, I love climbing in boxes, so I think she’s confused but we’ll clear that up later.)

I felt tired suddenly from so much listening and sorting in my head.   Usually Momma says different is good.   She tells me all the time to look at something she is taking a picture of, and that I will see something different than she does, different than Daddy does, different than the camera does…even though we are looking at the same thing.  Okay.   AND, Momma goes on and on…and on… about how seeing everything around us in a different way is good.  Okay.  Both Momma and Daddy tell me to try different foods, to read different books.  They say it makes me an explorer.  An adventurer.

But the way Momma was acting made it seem like this “different” wasn’t okay.   I checked out of the talking for a bit to carb up my brain with pretzels, but when I came back, I started to understand.  Momma made it okay.  By the time I was done examining and dissecting my cardboard block, I realized it was really cool that we are the family we are, every part of it.  Like… just as cool as my Legos and cars.  Maybe cooler.  I realized it is okay to be different and I am special and loved because I’m Nate, not because of how I was born, or that I do things that other kids do, or don’t do.

Momma said that from now on, if being us and being our family makes us different, then sign us up.   She said that no amount of different would change the love we have.  So, when Daddy held me tonight, looked at me, and told me, “Nate, you are amazing”, I looked right back at him and said, “You are….diffent!!!”

There are some hard lessons in life.  Don’t I know it.   It is taking awhile for some to sink in, while others click right away, as much as I don’t understand them.   Take eggs, for example.   Eggs don’t bounce. Got it. Although why they look like balls is beyond me.  Also, not everything shaped like an egg is an egg.  Yea.  Think about that one.  Why would you make something shaped like an egg…that wasn’t an egg?  What is the purpose?   Momma and I both learned this one at music class last week.

The teacher handed out eggs that make a strange rattle noise.  The music was playing, people were singing…and everyone was shaking the eggs!   I had to do something.   Even Momma was shaking the egg, never mind the fact that she was letting Lyla suck on one of them.  Disgusting.  I made my move to be sure the eggs would be safe.  It IS on my chore list, after all, to collect eggs.   I started with Momma and Lyla, gently ripping the eggs from their hands and starting a pile.  I then went from mommy and child around the room, once again, gently ripping them from their hands.   I was gentle, so I’m not sure why everyone starting getting upset.   When the other kids started protesting and some of the other mommies started gasping, I glanced at Momma, unsure.   Was I not supposed to be saving the eggs from the shaking?    Eggs must be collected, right?  Shouldn’t the other small people be taught this lesson?  Might that not be the best choice right now?   I forged ahead with renewed gusto.   The eggs…MUST be saved.  I yelled once, over the music, with clarifying intent, “I need the chicken eeegggssss!”.  Apparently they weren’t eggs, but were some kind of instrument thingy. Uh…yea, like I’m buying that?!  Pfff.   I noticed the eggs didn’t come out this week at music class.  That was that.

Pumpkin: Commonly mistaken for an orange bball.

Now that we are clear on eggs, what about pumpkins?!   Pumpkins are really nothing more than big, (or little) orange bballs.   The pumpkins I saw this weekend were circles indeed.  There was a whole big yard full of the orange bballs, just begging to be played with.   Momma and Daddy even told me I could pick some out!   To avoid raised voices, I decided to wait until we returned home to play with the pumpkins, or should I say, “owange bballs”, wink wink.   Once we were home and the new toys were unloaded on the front steps, I sat next to them, content to just lean against them.  As soon as both Momma and Daddy were inside, I picked up the smaller one and threw it, yelling, “baseball!!!”, just knowing it was going to bounce really high!  I could feel it.  I watched, smiling in anticipation.  It hit the ground and broke, splattering the side of the car.  Uummmm.  Pumpkins don’t bounce… just like eggs. I closed my eyes to let THAT lesson soak in, just as I heard the gasps of Momma and Daddy behind me.

I get it!

So I’ve been thinking about the whole “no camera needed” thing for taking pictures.   I think I have some arguable points that a camera is clearly needed for pictures.   At least most pictures.  I trust Momma enough though to know she wouldn’t purposely try to confuse me with nonsense.   So I tried all week to take pictures with my mind.

I stared at my cars.  I stared at my trains.  I tried blinking.  I tried staring, blinking, and then blinking really fast.   I tried jumping while blinking while staring.   This made Lyla laugh a lot.  It also made Momma nervous.  I’m pretty sure she was taking a picture with HER mind of MY attempts and filing it somewhere under questionable.  One time she asked me if I was feeling okay.  Honestly, I wasn’t!  I was confused, frustrated and little worried about HER!

I decided a good night of sleep might help if Lyla would allow it.  (*Sidenote:  Lyla is the worst sleeper in the world…that whole “sleeps like a baby” phrase…well, from where I sit very tired, baby Lyla doesn’t sleep.)  That night I did actually fall asleep early in the comfort of Daddy’s arms.  That, by the way, is the best.  Ever.  Sometime in the early morning hours though, I woke up scared, and ran into Momma and Daddy’s room.  I walked over to Daddy’s side of the bed, just like I always do, and searched for the comfort of his arms.

Only Daddy wasn’t there.  Instead, some woman sat up and said, “Hey sweetie, want to come in bed?”  I did the only thing I could- I fled.  Where was Daddy?  Who was that woman in his spot?  What was happening?!!!  I threw myself on the hallway floor and began weeping.   Then those arms picked me up and hugged me.  Aaaahhh- Daddy WAS here.   “What happened mister?  What’s wrong?”, he asked.  I looked past him after calming down and noticed Momma sitting on the bed searching my face for an answer.

Oh.  I get it.  Momma was the woman.  I was just confused because I had taken a picture with my brain of where Daddy sleeps and where Momma sleeps, and they had switched places.  Without telling my brain.    Okay- it was possible.  You can take a picture without a camera.  Got it.

In the morning, when the sun was waking up, I crawled out of bed and found Momma and Lyla sitting in the other room.   Momma was rocking Lyla and doing that singing thing with no words.  Lyla was sleeping.   I just watched.  Momma looked at me and smiled.  And I smiled right back.   It was the happiest picture I’d ever seen.  So I took that picture.  I didn’t use a camera, but I don’t think I used my mind either.   I used my heart.

Related articles

• Nate’s Notes: No Camera Needed

Momma takes lots of pictures.  No surprise there.  I’ve totally accepted this as much as I have had to accept that eggs don’t bounce (oh bumpers), that Lyla is staying for good (*sigh*), and that kitty food is for kitties and not little boys (hey- don’t judge me…the package said organic).  Momma usually has a camera attached to her like a piece of clothing or a fashion accessory.  Here is something to think about though.

One day I caught Momma watching me and Lyla playing with books and cars.  She was staring with that usual goofy smile that makes me smile back.   She told us we were her “I love you’s” and that she was taking a picture of this moment.   I waited for her to get her camera, but she just kept smiling that goofy smile.  I looked at her…at the camera across the room…and back to her.   It started to make me nervous, all this smiling and no camera-getting.   So I jumped up and ran to it, but she stopped me.   After laughing a little, she told me that she didn’t need a camera for this because she was taking a picture with her mind, and tucking it away to remember.  Uuhhhhh…..  Taking a picture with her MIND?  Like superhero stuff?  Tucking it away?  Like she and Daddy tuck us in to bed? Wait, wait, wait.  Some strange stuff was happening here.

After a lot of blinking, a big sigh, even bigger eyes, and a big quiet, I just gave in to the complete confusion.  EVERYTIME Momma and Daddy talk about pictures, they have cameras.  EVERYTIME!!!  They even insult me with “toy cameras” to “practice” picture taking.  And now Momma is telling me she doesn’t need cameras!!???   The confusion was becoming too much, so I just whimpered instead.  Momma misunderstood this for whining and told me to use my words.   I’ll give her some words.  I have 427- eleventeen words to give her.  But all I could come up with was more blinking.

Who ever heard of taking pictures with your mind??!!!   I need to let this bounce around a little in my brain.  I’ll tell you in a little bit what I come up with.  Pfff….pictures with your mind. Pfff…no camera needed.

It gets darker sooner now.  I swear Momma and Daddy are putting me to bed sooner, even if they won’t admit it.  It’s like just because the sun has an earlier bedtime, I have to too?  No.  Let me rephrase that in toddler speak:  NO!  No no no no no.  Anyway, besides the sun’s earlier bedtime, I’ve noticed the leaves turning those pretty colors again…the ones that make you feel warm- the reds, yellows and oranges.

Last year at this time I was just learning colors.  Now, I can tell Momma about the leaves, their colors, that they are falling to the ground, and that they don’t taste good.  I even get to try hiding Lyla in them by covering her all up with the leaves on the ground.  Tee hee.  Just kidding, I would NEVER do that to her.  Or would I?  Tee hee.

It’s hard not to notice all the leaves and their warmth because Momma stops at every tree for pictures.   And if we aren’t doing that, we are looking at the leaves on the ground.  Momma says we live in a tree house.  Sounds cool, but I’m not buying it.   I do know there are trees all over that drop leaves and acorns.   Some of our leaves are prickly, some are brown, some are yellow, some are red.  Sometimes the acorns drop on us or the puppies!    When the leaves fall on the ground you can kick them around, taste them, cover your baby sister with them…okay, just kidding about that last part.  Tee hee.

What’s strange is that very often, when I’m about to eat the leaves or dirt, or when I’m covering Lyla with leaves and dirt (like I would EVER do that), or when I’m trying to feed leaves to the chickens, Momma yells, “Leave it!”.   Um…yea lady, there are leaves.  That’s what I’m trying to play with here so just move along.   Besides, Lyla likes the leaves…she told me.   So I keep doing what I’m doing and Momma stares at me, looking upset.   After just one more, pretty, red leaf to cover Lyla, I save Momma the trouble, look her straight in the eye and say for her, “Leave. It!”.

Okay, I’m 2 now.  It’s time to start getting serious about what my options are for the future.  Awhile ago, I admitted that it wouldn’t be so bad to take pictures like Momma does.  After all, you get to see things in a different way, like a whole new world, when you look through a camera.   For you other kids out there, it’s kinda like when we get to start facing forward in our car seats.   You see trees, birds, flowers, and buildings that you didn’t before.

Now, because I’m only 2 and Momma, even Daddy, are constantly exposing me (ha ha) to the world of cameras and taking pictures, I don’t have many other choices on the list.   I know I like cars…a lot.  I like running… a lot.  I like animals…a lot.  I like books…a lot.  But just because you like something, doesn’t mean you can put food on the table with it.   So, for now, photography can stay at the top of my short list.

Of course, I’m noticing that it isn’t just about taking pictures.  Sure, the field adventures are super fun.  We get to see new things and learn new things.  I’m even starting to figure out what Momma will take a picture of before she does.   After all the fun, Momma sits on the computer for a gazillion hours.   When I want her to read a book, she’s loading pictures.  When I want to build a tower, she’s working on photos so they are straight.  When I want to run, she’s getting rid of blurry photos.  Pff…see, even big people take blurry photos.  And you think it’s “cute” when I do it!   When I want to race cars, she’s putting all the door pictures together, or all the animals, or the benches, or the clouds together.   I have mad sorting skills now so I’m really helpful, even if she tells me, “no pushing buttons!”.    Then, just when I think she is done, she starts naming and numbering each picture!  Whaaatttt????

And it doesn’t end there!   When they are named and numbered, she puts them on the spiderweb…no, site…no cobweb…no …. WEBSITE!   When they are there, she adds even more words.  Always with the words.  She tells me she has to add “key” words.   So, like with my cars, she says, “car, cars, race cars, toy, toys, wheels, metal cars, moving toys”.   I don’t get what all those words have to do with keys.  Maybe she means the car keys?  Hmm….well, I AM only 2, so a lot of your big people stuff still doesn’t make sense.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that there is way more to Momma’s work than just taking pictures.   It take a lot of time!  More time than I thought it did, and more time than I want it to.  What is the point of being at home if you can’t play all the time!????!!!  Yea…I figured you had  no good answer.   Lyla and I will have to work on a new daily schedule for her… I have many many ideas!