It’s no secret I love my toys. What warm-blooded kid wouldn’t? I can share them when I need to…but mostly I feel like I don’t need to share them. Doesn’t everyone have their own toys? Someone should tell Momma this, because she keeps taking mine. It wouldn’t be so bad if she was playing with them…with me. You think she is playing with them though? No. I’ll give you one guess as to what she is doing with MY toys. Yep…taking pictures. PICTURES!! Please. Spare me.
When does it end? She tells me to not worry, and to focus on the bigger picture. Like I know what that is. Please, I’m 1 ½. My bigger picture entails baths, warm nighttime bottles, timely diaper changes, snacks and … oh yea, TOYS!! I just stare at her, blinking away the horror. I cross my arms, puff out my chest, stare some more, trying to communicate my message: Put. The. Toys. Down. Step. Away. Clearly, she can’t read my body language. And she calls herself an anthropologist. Pfff. She then tells me I’m helping “them” with photos for the new Imagery website. Like I care.
My toys…not hers.
Just walk away.
When will it end!!!????
I don’t care. But, I notice she missed all my blocks and trains, so I carry them over to her. “Bocks, bocks…twain”, I suggest in the most uninterested tone I can muster, followed by a yawn. Hey, if you can’t beat “them”, might as well join “them”…or pretend to. If I could only get my hands on that camera, or at least beat it with my blocks. Hmmmm….And what is this Imagery website anyway? Wait…does this mean even more pictures!!!???!!! Oh, poop. No…I really just did.
I know what you’re thinking…I’m too young to handle the responsibility of such valuable technology and equipment. Well, wait till you see my photos! I know Momma needs help with taking pictures because she is always saying she needs more shots. Daddy has had a lot of super hero duties lately, so I thought I could help.
I took these pictures the other day.
Benson- My dog dog!
My books, my dog-dog, my Legos, and my cars!! Aren’t they great?! I really love the lighting and the blurry effect. Now THAT is texture.
Well, I was happy to take more, but Momma came into the living room and found me with her camera. She had some interesting things to say. She looked like she had eaten hot sauce (I’ve tried that!!!) and was holding her mouth in a weird smile. Obviously she was excited to have my help! Clearly she knew she needed me! For some reason, though, she walked slowly to me and gently took the camera from me. She then put it up on a very high shelf. Hmmm. That’s strange…but then she told me she’d get me my own camera to use. Oh! Well, THAT makes sense.
Later that day, she gave me my very own camera! I was excited until she put it down on my desk. After I recovered from the initial shock, I managed to climb to her camera and capture these images to show you…the horror. THIS is what she gave me to work with!
I’ve never been so insulted. Look at the silly person that pops up when you push the button…and the grainy view through the lens. I just looked at her with her goofy smile and blinked. This was a baby camera! For babies…NOT me! Today, her smile was NOT spreading to me. Today, I needed to be alone. With my camera.
THIS is what she gave me??!!!
Grainy view through lens…*sigh*