I’m not sure when it happened, but it did. Momma and Daddy try to confuse me with their smiles and big language like, “We are so proud of you!”. Proud? If ‘proud’ is something that makes me feel like running away from embarrassment, then okay. That is what this is. Somehow I doubt it.
Somewhere along the way…I became one of them. They tricked me! They tricked me with their cameras and flash. Wait, they don’t use flash. Well, there are shiny buttons and fun numbers on the cameras. Yea, that is what it is. They tricked me! They tricked me by giving me my own camera and letting me take my own pictures.
It happened slowly but all at once. I don’t even know when. I have to sit. I have to calm down. Just. Relax. Breathe. Breathe. I can’t!!! What am I going to do????!!!! Overreacting? You think I’m overreacting? How do I KNOW I am one of them? Well I didn’t realize it until the other day, in the store.
It was a day like any other. I was loudly minding my own business, sitting in the cart, checking out the book and Lego selections, yelling “Hi” to anyone who would listen. Momma and Daddy had already dazzled me by telling me I could get some Nemos to take home and feed for my very own. My very own Nemos!!! That must have been why my guard was down. We were in the row with dog and cat toys. Okay. Sure. Momma picked out some small dog toys. That was strange because we don’t have small dogs. Okay. Sure. Whatever. I get my own Nemos!!!! I will feed them and love them and they shall be mine!!! Wait…what was this? We were buying cat toys? Why?? We don’t need cat toys. Strange. But Momma is strange. Nemos!!!
“Excuse me. Do you have suggestions of any of these toys for cats?” A short woman asked Momma. “Oh no. I’m not buying these for a cat.” Blink. Blink. Blink. Silence. More blinking. “You…aren’t buying cat toys for a cat?” The short woman seemed confused. “No,” Momma answered. The short, confused woman repeated what Momma had JUST said. Were her ears broken? I took over. “Yea..Why?!” She looked at me, ignored me… then went back to Momma and asked, “So… you aren’t buying them for a cat, just to take pictures? Pictures WITH a cat? Or just pictures??” Clearly she couldn’t hear. So I repeated louder, “Yea…Why?!”
Momma stopped me from continuing and settled it by just grabbing a few, kind of explaining what the pictures were for, and moving on. The woman wasn’t going to get it…she was too confused to listen. And thankfully Momma stopped me, because I was going over a cliff.
Clearly you can see that I’ve become one of them. I normally would side with the short, confused lady, and begin distracting her from Momma’s embarrassing behavior with my charm. But INSTEAD…I sided with Momma! I can’t believe this. That just happened. My life is over. All this fun picture stuff is ruining me!!!