Here we go again…on another road trip. Day 1…of 15. Yipee. Yep…still polishing up my toddler sarcasm. This time it isn’t just a nice little 700-mile drive up the coast to Northern Oregon. Oh no. Nope. Once again Momma has sadly misinterpreted my body language in the car to mean I am more than okay with such a journey. Umm….what part of squealing, crying, planned pooping and general crankiness says “more please” to you??? Sometimes I wonder about my parents.
Momma and Daddy have decided I LOVE the car SO SO SO much that we are going to travel one way, 2,027 miles to Minnesota. That lovely distance is without any stopping. I love how they assume Lyla is okay with car trips as well. Way to let us think for ourselves guys. Ya know, I’m not even sure how far 2,027 miles is, but I DO know it will take days and days to get there. Ooohhhh bumpers.
I would be willing to bet ALL my toys AND my baby sister that Mr. and Mrs. Snapping Pictures Photosen in the front seat will have those cameras attached to their faces, stopping a gazillion trillion fifty times.
Go ahead. I’ll just be back here. In the back seat…staring out the window…wondering if I’ll ever get to use my legs again….listening to the screams of baby Lyla…masking my disappointment in my parents’ choices.
Sure, they promise fun, adventure, a train here and there, new books, yummy snacks and flashy toys for the car trip. Forgive me if I have my doubts. I mean, animal-shaped crackers and yogurt-covered raisins only go so far. Besides, THEY eat more of my crackers than I do!!* Don’t they realize they are too old to eat anything shaped like an animal???!!! Don’t they realize my brain is still a construction zone???!!! I am not built to sit for hours and hours…and hours. They are only hurting themselves you know. They’ll see. Baby Lyla and I will enlighten them and give them a road trip alright.
I better go…Momma is eyeballing me suspiciously, probably wondering what I’m smirking about. I’ll throw her off by shoving this crayon in my mouth. I’ll update you again soon though…Minnesota or bust!!! Heh heh heh…
*This will be in my crayon memoirs as well.