So, momma is always pointing out textures and trying to teach me how to use good descriptive language. She puts my toys and stuffed animals in front of me and goes into detail with their colors, shapes, sizes, and materials. She shows me stuff outside all the time. I think it’s great, mostly because her eyes light up and she uses pretty words. It makes me smile, which only encourages her to do it more. Sometimes she even blurts out descriptions when we’re in public…that’s weird and awkward. I don’t smile then. I go into distract mode…but come on people!!! Even my charms have a limit!
Anyway, I’m a little concerned that momma’s awkward quirks are spreading…to me. Not cool. This became clear the other day at a playgroup. I was engaged in my vroom vroom cars and showing a little girl how tires work. I simply pointed out to her the rubber treading and the cool pattern. She soooo didn’t get it and shoved a Barbie in my face. So I moved on to a nearby boy and tried to point out the fibers in the multicolored carpet. I told him how beautiful the colors were, how intricate the pattern was formed by the lines of contrasting stitching. I even rubbed by cheek on it to show him how soft it was. He started hitting me. Someone will need anger management classes in the future, and I don’t mean me! I tried again with another boy across the room who was playing with a plastic house set. I told him about the formed plastic and the pattern and texture created in the roof and grass. He stared at me…blinked…and drooled a little. And I don’t think it was excited drool. What was wrong with these kids?? They clearly lacked the maturity to comprehend me! So I tried with the woman by the door. I pointed to the raindrops on the door window and the slight crack in the window above the door. I told her how cool the water droplets were and that the broken glass had its own beauty. She smiled at me. Finally!!! Someone got it!! And then she scooped me up and said, “Oh sweet baby…you just babble away don’t you!?! You have so much to say, I wish I knew what it was! Sooo cute you are!” …And then she pinched my cheek and told me to go play with my friends. Sigh. Where were my momma and daddy? They understand what I am talking about. They’re cool like that.